Am really swamped.   I go home really tired and perky little people who greet me only make me realize how old I really am. 

Kids nowadays can’t seem to sit still.  I mean literally.  The buttboy will sit on my lap and sheesh, his hands, head, feet and everything else would like move around and touch, kick, glance at everything. Why, even when we sleep he can’t seem to lie still.  Two days ago, was sleeping quite soundly when I get a headbutt on my nose! Damn nearly broke it I should say.  And as I sat up rubbing my beak in the dark, teary eyed and half awake, I hear gigling coming out of the little man.   Talk about adding insult to injury.  As I moved to get a closer look at him I see a smile.  Not the mischievous, “hehehe I gave your nose a beating”smile but more of a “I’m happy and loving it” type. How could you possibly get mad at that.

Bella on the other hand, is growing up fast and starting to act like a teenager.  Rebellious and quite hard headed, we seem to be clashing a lot these days.  She’s still sweet most of the time but she has started to question my authority.  I wonder if it has anything to do with Igor.   The buttboy’s energy will wear anyone of us down and I guess, Bella included.  Bella gets ornery when she’s sleepy.  I mean really ornery, testy and just plain obnoxious.  This is the time that we normally have our arguments.  Everynight it is a struggle to get her to brush her teeth before sleeping.  She’d always try to delay the task till I’m at a breaking point.  Thus, this is when we really don’t like each other and as she got  the shorter end of the stick, will try to take it out on the little guy.  I’ve tried talking to her most of the time, but she is adamant and would normally like to be left alone.   In the mornings we are alright. Back to being Dad and baby girl.

I have to admit that work really is taking up a lot of my time.  I still go home early, but the enormity of all the tasks that need to be done and the pressure of delivering on time normally has me in front of the computer typing and or in strategizing mode.  Igor being with me has added to the expenses of course.  Savings have been decimated and I’m back to square one in the financial aspect of my life.  Ex will never volunteer to help out and I guess, I would much rather have it that way as depending on her  would only establish a connection with her.  At this point, I have no wish for that to happen.  It is a way to teach my kids as well that although times are hard, all one needs to do is to strive to make things better.  I’ll be giving management raises at the end of the year anyway, including myself of course, but I don’t know if it will be enough to cover the extra load.  I guess belt tightening measures are needed.

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At the professional front, things have never looked any brighter.  We are currently testing with the big client and hopefully, come December, we can convince them to sign up and thus provide the fuel for the next round of wage increases, and probably some staff hiring.  I’ve been out of the office  almost everyday and normally get home 8pm (which probably adds to Bella’s anxiety), but these are things that need to be done if I am to reach for my dreams (which consequently will benefit both kids anyway).

A web project is being reactivated and I went into a partnership with this hardware supplier so that we can develop systems for his merchandise.  That is of course on top of the two projects that we currently have right now and the maintenance of all the rest.  Of course, the normal duties of billing, collecting, book keeping, payroll etc etc etc are still there and need to be done.  Yep, am dizzy and tired but have much to be thankful for.

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