After having our usual dinner at Shangri-La and returning Igor to his mom, Bella and I were headed to SM Hypermart in Pasig to buy her some clothes.

It was while walking that she starts off another conversation.

Bella: “Dad, could we not go on a date this next Valentine’s day?”

Me: “What’s wrong with us going out on that day?”

Bella: “Just that I don’t feel comfortable being with my dad on valentine’s.” 

Me: “Bella, you don’t have to think about it as a date.  I think of it as an opportunity for me to spend time with my daughter and son.” 

Bella: “Yeah, but could I go out with someone else?” 

Me:  “Like who?” (not really liking where this conversation was going.)

Bella: “I don’t know….maybe a cute boy or something?”

Surprisingly, when I heard this, I didn’t get jealous a least bit, but saw it as an opportunity to barter a better deal regarding my non-existent love life.  For the new readers here, I must give a brief backgrounder.  Bella has made it as clear as urine of a well-hydrated person, that she does not want me to date anyone.  As in ANYONE.

Me: “Well, who do you have in mind?”  I asked innocently, knowing full well that her going out on a date with boy won’t be happening soon.

Bella: “Hmmmm, don’t know really. Maybe if I meet someone.”

Wow, nine years old and this kid is already talking about stuff like this.  It blows my mind away what cartoons these days, feed these guys. At anyrate, I then began my not-so-innocent proposal.

Me:  “Alright then, I agree.  Only on one condition……….that I go out on a date of my own.”

Bella: “Okay, but that really depends on me.”

At this point, I figured that there might be hope afterall for my poor weiner and I.  So getting a little bit excited, I felt the need to probe further into her brain.

Me:  “But what if she’s really, really, really, really pretty?”

Bella: “Okay Dad……”

VOILA! I think it’s my lucky day.  Hearing that “Okay” put this really silly grin on my face, which was quickly removed when Bella continued her sentence.

Bella: “…..but only for one date.  And after that, you gotta tell her that you can never, EVER see her again.”

Me: “Why not?” I asked with much concern.

Bella: “Cause if you do, I will murder her.” she said with a mischievous smile.

The statement didn’t really shock me as I knew it was all innocent bantering.  In fact, my initial reaction was reflective. Thinking to myself “Yeah, way to go piling the pressure on kid.  You know how hard it is to get laid on the first date?”

Recognizing that this conversation may yet turn into something that would benefit me, I decided to just push my luck a little further.

Me: “You don’t really mean that.  And besides, like I said, what if she’s really, really, really, really pretty and what if you like her and she likes you and Igor?”

To which she replied, “Yeah, but it really depends on me Dad.”

Just my luck to have my sexual life dictated upon  by a person who most likely doesn’t even know what coitus means. Sheeesh. Talk about God being so cruel.

At anyrate, she goes on and says that she doesn’t want to see me and her mom divorced and that  if it happens, she will lose all trust in me and her mom.  I then went on to say that her mom and I live separate lives already and it’s enough that we are friends and that although we are not together, she shouldn’t fear that she will lose any of us as we will always be there for her.

Oh well, at the very least, the conversation provided me with a sense of hope, but really…..she’s awfully taking long to allow me to date again.  LOL

(Virus looks down to his weiner)

“We came so close.  Tsk, tsk, tsk.”